Today is a day I will never forget! I completed the first draft of my novel today! The characters, scenes and dialogue that have been dancing in my head for over 7 years have been completely unleashed. The book I have been talking up is finally a reality.
Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a writer and I am working on a book. If you talk to me for more than 30 minutes, it’s going to come up some how. lol I’m sure some people may have thought this book was a figment of my imagination. She couldn’t possibly still be working on that same book she was talking about two or three years ago. But, I was.
My writing process was very odd to say the least. I wrote when I was inspired and when I wasn’t I procrastinated and came up with excuses about why I couldn’t write. I didn’t have time. Devin needed me. My husband needed me. My friends needed me. I’ll do it tomorrow.
I didn’t feel so bad about this when I heard that Shonda Rhimes thought about Scandal for over a year before she wrote one word. When it was time to submit the pilot she got a hotel room and wrote for 4 days straight. If it worked for her, it should work for me, right? Not exactly. 😉
When I wasn’t in avoidance mode, I was involved in a spiritual warfare. The enemy put all kinds of barriers in my way. One particular barrier caused me to have writers block for about 2 or 3 years.
I was working in Drama Ministry when something I wrote was misconstrued and my salvation was attacked. I knew I was called to write in a way that would uplift the body of Christ, but I was being told that God didn’t receive what I wrote and it wasn’t inspired by Him. I was devastated! I was a Christian writer and everything I did was for and about Christ. I eventually disconnected from that ministry and allowed church hurt to block me from fulfilling my purpose. For awhile I didn’t go to church at all. I was a Christian without a home and God was not pleased.
When I finally found a new church to unite with, I purposely became a pew sitter. I was afraid to work in ministry. I was afraid to share my gifts. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened before. My salvation wasn’t up for scrutiny. My desert experience taught me who I was in Christ and no one was going to make me believe otherwise.
It didn’t take long before I was called out and thrust back into ministry. That was such a blessing! I love Drama Ministry again and enjoy presenting God’s word in unique and creative ways. I enjoy teaching Sunday School and sharing wisdom with the younger generation.
Once I got back into ministry, why didn’t I go full steam ahead and finish my book? There’s one answer, fear. I wasn’t afraid of sharing anymore. I was afraid of succeeding. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. I was afraid I wasn’t worthy of success. As long as it was a dream, it was just that, a dream. Dreams are lovely and full with hope. Reality doesn’t always look like that. As long as it was a dream it was something I was striving for. I couldn’t fail or succeed. The problem was I kept the dream alive for way too long. I knew I could be doing more than I was doing. I was making progress, but I should have been closer to the finish line.
Then I heard a sermon titled “What’s Fear Got to do With It?” delivered by Minister Edward Walker. The Word resonated in my spirit and caused me to spring into action. Jesus was saying, “What are you afraid of Sherry? I got you.” It was time for me to step out on faith. It was time to cast fear aside and be who I’m destined to be.
That’s why today is so important to me. I showed myself that I can do it. I showed myself that I am worth more than a dream. I showed myself that I am the daughter of the Most High and with Him all things are possible! God bless!